 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Random and Repeat First, I had the most wonderful compliment thrown at me in by guestbook by Fuzzmom. The lady called me Satan and in all caps to boot! She says I've done a terribly wicked thing, but I'm all happy cuz it means more fan fic! (Doing the Quiet Flames happy dance) ________________________________________ The Bear made the daily news here. There was a crime stoppers article that had him featured as a missing person. The Boss Lady has decided to press charges for the theft of the deposit and I don't blame her. I agree with her. Plus, if he's caught, he'll have to come back here and face all of us. Maybe then I can find out what the Hell happened. I am so mixed up emotionally. One moment I'm more pissed off than I ever thought imaginable, then suddenly I'm crying and feeling so much pain. One minute I'm hoping they find him and throw him in jail for stealing his parents money, the next I'm hurting and just want it all to go away. It's like The Goddess exchanged my heart for a CD player and my emotions are the CDs. And, just for the fun of it, she set the play program to random and repeat. I don't know from one moment to the next what I'm feeling. Talking to The Boss Lady, Lady Bimbo and two of The Bear's uncles made me realize that he was lying to all of us for at least two weeks. The more I find out what all he said to everyone else makes me feel even more stupid than I did just thinking he had some kind of nervous breakdown and left. It's like he went out of his way to tell me how much he loved me and the kids and his new life with us, just so I could look back at it, realize he lied and feel like even more of an idiot. I can just see him somewhere, sitting on the beach with a drink in his hand, laughing at how easy it was to take advantage of me. I still have a hard time with the fact that he has to know what he's putting us through. I swear, it's like he has two personalities. First, the one that I've know for four years that would give the shirt off his back to help someone and would never dream of lying to anyone much less stealing large sums of money; then there's the one that let me fall in love with him, rearrange my life to fit him in it, drew me and the children into trusting him and caring for him just to discard us like we weren't worth the effort it takes to change the station on your radio. I want him to feel what I'm feeling. I hope they find him and I get to tell him exactly how I feel. I hope I never see him again. I don't know what I want, besides just making the pain and the confusion go away.
Most recent entries Something New - 2009-06-04 Lunch for Breakfast - 2009-05-18 Jeans and a T-shirt - 2009-05-13 Lost Weeks - 2009-05-11 Happy Birthday to Me! - 2009-04-22 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Rings
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||